“Putting something on the internet is no different than leaving it on the table at a coffee shop in the mall.”
– Behnke, 2009
What is sexting?
the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically
Problems with sexting
NO guaranteed privacy
NO changing your mind
Nothing is truly anonymous
Recipient may not want sexts
48% of teens have received sexts
78% of teen girls & 82% of teen boys are NOT sending nude/semi-nude pictures or videos
63% of teen girls & 60% of teen boys are NOT sending sexually suggestive messages
*(stats taken from thenationalcampaign.org, 2008)
How do you stay strong under pressure?
What are ways that you can avoid sending sexts if you don’t want to?
Healthy communication is vital to a healthy relationship. Please take some time to read the following steps in order to engage in healthy, respectful and equitable dialogue.
1) Keep your cool
Learn what calming strategies work for you. Take the time to cool down before engaging in conversation.
– take deep breaths
– count to/from 139 (or another random number that works for you)
– go into another room
– think of soemthing that makes you happy
– walk away
2) Ask ?’s
Honestly and unaggressively ask questions to learn more about the situation. After hearing your partner’s prespective, you may come to the conclusion that the situation was a misunderstanding.
3) Find out about feelings?
Try to understand how your partner feels about the situation at hand. Make sure you express your own feelings. Make sure to use “I statements” to express your emotions.
“I feel (insert your specific emotion) when you (insert the specific action). Could you please (suggest positive solution to the problem)?
Ex. “I feel embarrased when you repeatedly call me when I’m out with my friends. Could you please call less, if you know I’m busy“?
4) Work towards a solution
Once you’ve expressed yourself and have also learned of your partner’s emotions, work together to figure out a mutually beneficial solution.
Everyone has “hot buttons,” some people call these pet peeves. These are the things that make you angry whenever you feel, see or hear them. These things irritate you or get under your skin in ways that can make you angry.
not saying thank you –
someone chewing with mouth open –
feeling ignored –
misogynistic music videos –
What are your hot buttons?
If you recognize your own hot buttons, you’ll be better prepared to control your anger.
Remember: Anger is one important feeling we have. You will probably feel angry towards your partner at some point–that’s okay. How you deal with that anger, though, can make a difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.
excerpt from Peers Building Justice
Youth Violence Prevention Curriculum
This Valentine’s Day, let’s make sure everyone knows they deserve a safe and healthy relationship – no matter who they are or who they love. If you need help, loveisrespect is available 24/7. You can visit loveisrespect.org or text “loveis” to 77054.
- is welcome attention
- goes both ways/is mutual
- makes you feel flattered or attractive
- makes you feel in control
- makes you feel good about yourself
- is legal
- is not wanted
- is one-sided
- makes you feel put-down or ugly
- makes you feel powerless
- makes you feel bad or dirty
- is a violation of school policy and the law
Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual attention or conduct. Sexual harassment is defined by the person receiving it, just like sexual assault.